The Rejection Game
By Shauna Hart

To me, rejection is kind of like a game show. With butterflies in your stomach, you mail out your submission hoping for success. As you wait patiently, you know that you will either get what’s behind Door Number 1, Door Number 2 or Door Number 3.

Door Number 1 – Form Letter Rejection
Door number 1 is the equivalent of your current boyfriend/girlfriend saying “It’s not you, it’s me.” Let’s not even think about the fact that they told you this after 6 months of avoiding your phone calls and emails. Or that they apparently don’t know your name, because they are calling you “Author.” In the end, this rejection basically tells you nothing. You have no idea why you weren’t good enough or what you did wrong.

Anyone who has received a form rejection knows what I’m talking about. Lines like “not right for us at this time” leave you scratching your head wondering why your novel wasn’t accepted. Unless you are extremely lucky, you will receive a few form rejections for your drawer. If you stay in the game long enough, you might even move to Door Number 2 or Door Number 3.

Door Number 2 – Personalized Rejection
So, in Door Number 2, the rejecter knows your name, but they still don’t think you are good enough for them. Not only do they think you aren’t good enough, they give you a list of the reasons why. This stings, but at least you have a road map to get back into their good graces. The silver lining is that the person who rejected you actually thought your work had potential enough to sit down and tell you what you need to work on. As encouraging as this should be (and is), it still feels like what it is. A rejection. It hurts, and it takes a lot to pick your chin up off the floor.

But stay strong.

With a little effort and faith, you will find Door Number 3.

Door Number 3 – You are now a published author
We’ve all seen the brochures for Door Number 3. It usually has a picture of a shiny, happy person with a pina colada in their hand, right? Well, I’m not sure that that is completely accurate, but I can say that there is nothing like getting that first contract. To be able to put Published Author on anything is a wonderful feeling.

The truth is that there is no master recipe on how to survive rejection. The first one comes at you like a punch and you have to find a way to turn it into a caress. It’s the whole turning lemons into lemonade thing. Rejection is what you make it. I’m not going to tell you that it doesn’t hurt. Of course, it does. But you have to pick yourself up and keep going.

You started writing because you love it. Receiving one or a thousand rejection letters doesn’t change that.

I have been inside Door Number 1. I even had my own cubicle in there. But eventually, I moved into Door Number 2. And eventually I took the plunge into Door Number 3.

A few years ago, I went to a Romantic Times Convention. At one of the opening ceremonies, I met a fellow pre-published author. After several days of lectures and seminars, I caught up with her. I asked her what she thought about the whole thing. She was very dejected, and she told me that she would never be as good as the people who were giving the lectures. I found this odd, because the entire time I was thinking that one day I would be up there giving the lecture. That is the difference between people who get there and people who don’t. Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself when no one else does. It’s the only way to survive the lows and appreciate the highs.

At the end of the year, we all take a long look at the year past to think about what we have accomplished. When doing this, it is important to focus on the positive. Think about what you did in the past year that moved you one step closer to your goals. Don’t focus just on getting published, but give yourself a pat on the back for the rungs in the ladder that you climbed on your way there. For example, this year I entered several contests and received helpful feedback. Or I read two books on craft this year. Or I finished writing my novel. Whatever it is, make sure to celebrate it.

Every step we take is one step closer to achieving the final goal of getting published. Remember that every move you make toward your goal is an achievement. We may not be published yet, but we are getting there. That is what you need to think about when the blues catch up to you. You may not be there yet, but you are on your way.

You will get published if you work hard enough and you stay true to your dreams. You can be one of the authors giving a lecture at a convention. You just have to believe it. In my experience, nothing worthwhile ever came easy. I had to work for it. Think about your first job in high school. Did you start out as a manager? I know I didn’t. So, writing like everything else is about paying your dues. We would probably love to come out of the gate with a New York Times Bestseller, but realistically it might take some time to get there.

The bottom line is that we are doing this because we love to do it. When we garden, we don’t give up because one plant dies. We change the fertilizer or try more/less water. Writing should be no different. It is something that we have to work at. It is something that we keep getting better at. Rejection doesn’t change that.